Nobody wants to think about a significant other being unfaithful, but sometimes that is an unfortunate reality for couples. There are common signs that cheaters display so if you notice one or more of these, you may want to investigate and possibly re-evaluate your relationship. I’ll be addressing guys below, but girls aren’t off the hook either!
- He takes a new interest in appearances.
Does he seem to care if you notice it? There’s nothing wrong with people wanting to better themselves physically, but an overnight revelation is not normal. Chances are, if your boyfriend suddenly starts buying new clothes and fixating on outward appearance, then he may be trying to impress someone new.
- He becomes secretive with his phone.
If you ask for his phone and he has to get on it before handing it over (or refuses to let you see it altogether), there may be content on there that he doesn’t want you to see. If your boyfriend is cheating then he will probably keep the cell phone handy at all times, so there’s no chance you’ll try to look through it.
- You’re spending less time together.
So he suddenly encourages you to spend more time with your friends or family–without joining you. This is an easy way for your boyfriend to communicate or spend more time with the other person in his life with you out of the way. This sign isn’t always evidence of cheating (there could be other legitimate reasons involved), but if there are other signs present along with this one, it may be a red flag.
- He becomes suspicious of you.
If your boyfriend is cheating, he may try to throw the suspicion off himself by questioning you about your conversations, activities, and whereabouts and insinuating that you are cheating. Or, if he is being unfaithful, he may just assume that you are as well.
- He has unpredictable mood swings.
Being overly nice or irrationally angry can be the result of your boyfriend cheating. He may be feeling guilty, so he will bring you home some chocolates and be super sweet, or the guilt could lead him to take frustrations out on you by starting fights over minor things, like leaving a dirty dish out.
- He either doesn’t explain or over-explains where he’s been.
It’s common courtesy to let your significant other know your general whereabouts, so if your boyfriend starts giving you vague answers when you ask or tries to turn it around and make you feel like you’re being clingy, watch out. On the other hand, he may try to lie and over-explain by feeding you too many details to ward off any suspicions of yours.
- He loses track of details.
He mentions a funny scene from a movie that you two went to see together, but the only problem is that you’ve never seen the movie. If your boyfriend is splitting his time between you and another woman, the details are bound to blur together after a while. If you call him out on it, he will probably quickly make up an excuse that he saw it with a friend.
- He starts spending more and more time with a new “friend.”
If your boyfriend makes a new friend of the opposite sex and starts hanging out with her all the time (alone), you have a right to suspect something fishy. He will mention this person in passing, but probably won’t ever invite you to hang out with the two of them. It could also be a co-worker who your boyfriend starts “working late” with all the time.
- You notice many or large unaccounted for financial transactions.
A lot of unfaithful partners account for this in advance (no pun intended) and set up private accounts, but some do not. If you see charges for hotels or restaurants that you do not recognize then you should definitely ask your husband about them. First, investigate to make sure that your credit/debit card number was not stolen, but if all the transactions are local, your troubles are likely not financial.
- You find yourself constantly making excuses for him.
You obviously care about your man and want to be together, so you might find yourself making excuses for your own peace of mind. Like, if he’s been “working late” for the past couple months, you’ll try to convince yourself that he may have a new project at the office or that you’re just being paranoid. Resist that urge and listen to your gut feeling because it’s usually correct.
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